The fear of a career in music becoming a chore was too much to shoulder for Jackson Harnwell. A challenging time during his studies, self doubt and burnout caused him to step away from music. He shares his journey to heal, reconnect and own his creativity regardless of his job title.
Jackson Harnwell is a former singer and conductor, having studied at the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music and worked with artists including Anthony Warlow, David Hobson, Helena Dix, Teddy Tahu Rhodes and Yvonne Kenny. Today, Jackson oversees the clinical training of medical and health discipline students at the University of Melbourne, following a 10-year career in higher education.
QUOTES
“Church choir was an amazing opportunity that connected with me. To be able to create on my own, bond with others, sing in a group and share the emotion.”
“I have memories of my choir master having to settle me down because the church choir went to stand, they're all very stoic and grim faced as they sing perfectly constructed vowels and I wanted to dance. I wanted to move around and express that emotion that was inside me.”
“I started to have some self doubt, maybe there’s more work that I need to do that I didn’t understand I needed to do.”
“Going into university, my perspective was that I was very good. That changed quickly when I became part of a cohort of people that, in my mind, singing came easier to.”
“No matter how hard I worked, how much I did, I couldn’t seem to overcome some of these hurdles.”
“People really identified that one of my skills was that I could jump into unknown territory and be really crystal clear on the outcome that I wanted to achieve.”
“It’s probably only in the last three or four years, I've been able to recognize and accept just how much my creative self influences the work that I do, and is valuable to the organization and that it's not something that should be kept separate.”
“I realised if I was going to make a living from performing, I knew how much work that would be. But what did “making it” look like? It means taking gigs that you don’t want because you need to pay the bills and you don’t get to choose what performance opportunities come up. That wasn’t for me. The idea of this thing that I loved so much becoming a chore was terrifying.”
“The pandemic has really brought to the fore my performing background. I’ve identified that I thrive in a crisis, because I'm so used to not knowing what's around the corner, not knowing what might happen on stage.”
“The saddest thing that I have seen, with some incredibly talented, passionate musicians and performers, is that they leave it too late and lose the love of it. Eventually they're forced into a career transition and they cannot bring themselves to engage with their creative self anymore and that is an awful thing.”
LINKS
PODCAST TEAM
Production Support from Molly Jenkins
Audio Engineering from Frazer Ruddick
Theme Music Composed by Danna Yun
Theme Music Performed by Jasper Ly
RECORDED
Recorded on 27 August 2021